Iowa circa 2505

Are we at a turning point?  Let’s image that the currently in-power U.S./Iowa Republican executive and legislative branchs’ policies and laws  were sustained for hundreds of years into the future…. could Iowa in 2505 look like Idiocracy’s Washington D.C. in 2505?

Let’s take a look at Iowa’s current garbage situation
regarding the following: 1. Women, 2. Education, and 3. Economy.  Then let’s do a little experiment and hop into the
Human Hibernation Chamber and see the future… Iowa in 2505…


1. Women’s Reproductive Rights in Iowa 2018…

Iowa’s Misogynist Dicks – While Iowa Repub lawmakers have been focused on controlling women’s bodies… “The greatest minds were focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.”

a. They are making it harder for women to get contraception:
Iowa’s State Sex Regulating “Family Planning” program, which Iowa Repub lawmakers implemented last year, doesn’t allow Medicaid to cover the costs of annual and preventative exams at health clinics that provide abortions (Note: no federal money went to abortions in the previous program).  This new “Family Planning” program caused 4 Planned Parenthood clinics
to close in Iowa, which served 14,600 patients.
  Iowa Republican lawmakers have promised that other healthcare providers will be able to take these patients in – but rural providers say otherwise!   And if you’re still Not Sure whether Iowa’s Pussy Policing Program will have an impact on women’s reproduction… their “Family Planning” healthcare provider “list” (brought to you by St. God’s Memorial Hospital) includes a shit-ton of Catholic-affiliated clinics that don’t provide birth control (for the purpose of icky sex anyway) and smaller local clinics that have limited birth control options (i.e. no IUDs).

b. Iowa recently passed into law (currently being challenged in court)  the most restrictive abortion
ban in the U.S. (at 6-weeks):
  There are a few exceptions, the woman’s life, and in the case of rape and incest a girl/woman has a whopping 45 or 140 days, “respectively”, to report the crime to authorities. The real-life circumstance of rape/incest is that the victim is often too ashamed and traumatized to report incest or rape at all. Let’s think this through… a woman is raped…  she reports it right away (rape kits are backed-up) or eventually reports it (are they going to get fetal DNA?).  Even if authorities could get DNA evidence within the 45 day narrow time frame…
Who decides that it was rape? The police? The courts?  The likelihood of having evidence and due process within 45 days is IDIOCRACY at its finest.

It should be noted that several Republicans did not want to add any exceptions (including the woman’s life) and the time-sensitive rape/incest exception was resentfully
added at the last minute
.  Furthermore, the new SCOTUS nomination could result in the overturning of the 1973 Roe V. Wade decision.  This is the ultimate goal for many Iowa Repub Dicktators… make abortion illegal with no exceptions.

Women’s Reproductive Rights in Iowa 2505 =


2. Education in Iowa 2018…

Iowa’s Brain Drain – “If you have one bucket that contains 2 gallons and another bucket that contains 7 gallons, how many buckets do you have?”
Joe: “Two”

Iowa Republican Legislators’ tax give-away to big
corporations has been at the expense of Iowan’s education (along with many other State programs).  Current cuts to both public schools and universities will result in lower quality teachers/professors and poorer education for our children and college students.

a. Iowa Public Schools:
While Republicans have increased K-12 funding since they took partial control over the state lawmaking
process in 2011, the funding has increased less than 3%, which has only happened 7 times in the previous 39 years.  Furthermore, over the past seven years, the slice of the state budget pie has decreased.

b. Iowa Universities:
Iowa Republican Legislators voted to cut funding by
$11 million dollars between The University of Iowa
and Iowa State University
.  Iowa Universities have
been forced to raise student tuition and close programs.

Education in Iowa 2505 = DUMB AND DUMBER


3. Economy in Iowa 2018…

Terrible Tariffs – “For the last time, I’m pretty sure what’s killing the crops is this Brawndo stuff.”

I’m pretty sure this Trade War will kill Iowa’s economy!  As one expert told the Des Moines Register, …”However you look at (the entire trade situation), Iowa is going to suffer.  I don’t see any way to look at this where Iowa will come out a winner.”

a. Iowa Farmers:
Trump’s trade tariffs are as catastrophic to Iowa farmers as Brawndo is to crops.     Estimates are – it will cost soybean farmers $624 million and pork producers $560 million.  Iowa farmers are pissed-off and they know that this shit is bad.  And now the Trump administration wants farmers to drink the electrolytes and accept a $12 billion hand-out when all they want to do is compete…  As farmers and both Republican and Democrat legislator’s point out – sprinkling farmers with Brawndo will result in another Dust Bowl. This is a band-aid and countries will start getting their goods elsewhere.

b. Iowa Businesses:
Trump’s trade tariffs are also a big kick in the ass to Iowa manufacturers.  Iowa businesses associated with raw materials, such as steel or aluminum, will feel the collateral damage of these dumbass tariffs.  These include Vermeer Corp. in Pella, Indian Motorcycles in Spirit Lake, and Iowa-based Winnebago
Industries and on and on and on.

Economy in Iowa 2505 = BROKE and “in a deep state of neglect”


Now back to my original question… Could Iowa’s 2018 situation devolve into Idiocracy’s Dystopian city of Washington D.C. in 2505? I’m not as smart as Joe but looking at the list below… I think so!

  1. Making it harder for women to get birth control and essentially overturning Roe V Wade….
  2. Not investing in Iowa children’s and college student’s education….
  3. Economically bankrupting our farmers and businesses….

Parents, doctors, lawyers, professors, teachers, college students, farmers, business owners etc… are not going to want to move their families to the backward, misogynist, dumb, broke-ass state of Iowa and for people who are living in Iowa…  well, the smart ones will leave!  Iowa will not have what people crave….

An “Artist Dupicshun” of Iowa in 2505… 
Title: Idiot Iowa Inbreds


“Well, I’ve never seen no plants grow out of no toilet.”
Now I’m no Botanist, but maybe Democrats should give up on logic
and reason and pretend that we can talk to plants…