Brian’s Op-Wall Piece

Brian has had enough!


He can no longer tolerate the religious zealots’ blind devotion to their “Dear Leader”, Pontius Pilate.  Furthermore, Brian has come to the realization that Pontius Pilate is a FUCKING MORON and he must be stopped.  The Nation depends on it!

Brian decides to become part of
“The Resistance” and joins a terrorist group, the “People’s Front of Judea” (PFJ).  The PFJ loathes Pontius Pilate and his Party (The Romans).  PFJ’s goal is to defeat the “Dear Leader” and The Romans, becoming the new leaders of
The Nation.

With the encouragement of PFJ, Brian writes an anonymous Op-Wall piece about Pontius Pilate’s ignorance and incompetence entitled:
“I am part of The Resistance”.

When the “Dear Leader’s” followers see the withering writing on the wall – they go scorched earth.  They demand that the heretic be found and be brought to justice.

When the mercurial “Dear Leader” reads the blistering bulletin, he becomes apoplectic with rage.  He goes on a Witch Hunt and tries to find this disloyal Judas.  Pontius Pilate believes NO ONE and suspects EVERYONE!

Eventually, Pontius Pilate discovers that Brian is the author of the scathing screed.  Brian is quickly arrested and brought before the “Dear Leader”.  He then has his footman slap the shit out of Brian.  Pontius Pilate tries to get more information from Brian about “The Resistance” and about other possible traitors within his command.

The usual punishment for anyone that
betrays the “Dear Leader” is a casual stoning… but he believes Brian’s actions were TREASONOUS.  Pontius Pilate decides to make an example of backstabbing Brian and send a powerful message to his enemies on the outside and on the inside…

Brian is sentenced to death by crucifixion!

Looking on The Bright Side of Life…
the non-sycophants thank Brian for his sacrifice.

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you’re chewing on life’s gristle
Don’t grumble, give a whistle

And always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the lights side of life

If life seems jolly rotten
There’s something you’ve forgotten
And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you’re feeling in the dumps
Don’t be silly chumps
Just purse you lips and whistle, that’s the thing

And always look on the bright side of life!